TRIGGER WARNING: child abuse, sexual abuse, language

There was a time when I assumed that this was just what happened to everyone. This is what father’s do to children. I was even told by my mother how she was sexually abused when she was younger. Her tone and the way she said it just sounded like, “aw yeah, this is what happens, you just gotta deal with it and move on. They are all jerks.” Then there was a time when I felt alone. I thought there was no way this was happening to anyone else. I felt so isolated from everyone. I was disconnected. I think I actually developed a type of dissociative disorder, if that is even possible, disconnected from other humans and looked at them as if I wasn’t in the same world. I felt like I lived in a fog.

Finally, once I found the right therapist, my first real therapist, MaryBeth, who I consider to be my saving angel. She saved me and she is why I started to believe in myself and I applied to college and moved forward and away from that town and life. She made me realize that I was not alone. This happens to others. This has always happened to others but there have been times in history when no one ever spoke about it, but she felt like I was different because I couldn’t not talk about it. And it’s true, I was very vocal and this was a big reason my stepfather hated me so much. He fucked with the wrong girl.

That aside, I wanted to share this documentary. It is not easy to watch. These people make me incredibly sad but watching this I could relate to so much of it. While watching it I wished I had a chance to help them, talk to them, encourage them the way MaryBeth did for me, but you can’t save the world. You gotta save yourself first but a film like this reminds you, you’re not alone. THIS IS NOT AN EASY FILM TO WATCH. Just wanted to share as I’d only recently seen it. These men are sick and things need to change. But where do you even start? It comes from so many areas that where would you begin to fix this? Can it be fixed? Cycles of abuse, mental illness, socioeconomic issues all of that makes you wonder, where does it begin and how do we stop it?

Again, this is not an easy thing to watch and if you feel you can’t watch, it is okay. Just wanted to share:

Just Melvin, Just Evil

 

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